Monday, April 27, 2009

White Wedding? Um...

Sorry I've been away so long friends! Off in radioland...

OK, so I am getting ready for a trip home to NY, and while there I will go on my first sojourn into wedding dress territory. I know I want to keep it cheap, I am leaning towards a JCrew dress (haven't you heard, JCrew does wedding dresses now...), and I am thinking very lace, no sparklies, and no veil.

But there is one traditional thing I just can't seem to let go of...I really want to wear white. Doesn't have to be pure white, very comfortable with ivory, or even champagne coloured, but I can't seem to get away from the standard image of "bridal".

And I am not even sure why. I am a total slob and will probably have wine down the front of my dress within the first 20 minutes. Also, have I earned the white in the 'traditional sense', no. But I can't picture it any other way, now that I am allowing myself picture it, and I am not sure why. I have been going with the excuse of "when else do you get to wear a white dress?" But I am not sure that is really why. Is it totally hypocritical to stick with that weird standard?


  1. I bought a j crew wedding dress, actually I bought two. The "Sophia" and the "Vivian". I wore the Vivian to meet Chuck Palahniuk and won a prize and then gave the dress to a co-worker for her wedding. I wore the Sophia.

    One was $50 on the j crew site and the other was $30 NWT on ebay.

    They were both Ivory, but very dye-able if you do opt for color.

  2. Hi there, I'm a reporter at the Houston Chronicle/Hearst Newspapers researching a story about feminist weddings. I'm hoping you're willing to talk to me about your approach to your wedding and why this is important to you. Please email me at and let me know. Thanks in advance. Cheers,

  3. I just read the story in the chronicle. Very exciting! I was married about a year and a half ago, but we were pretty much married before our wedding. Not wanting to give into the wedding industrial complex we went the cheap route and did a lot of things ourselve, and because I also didn't see that day as THE most important day of my life. All that to say, I wore the Sophia dress from JCrew.

  4. That is the one I got! (The Sophia) I love it. There is one more dress that is coming out in the fall that I love and might try on, but I was very happy with the Sophia, and the price!

    Thanks for your feedback, I have heard from a lot of women and men who feel similarly. It's very heartening.

  5. Wear a white dress if you want to! After all, feminism is about choice. I think white dresses are beautiful for any occasion, never mind what it symbolizes

  6. This is way old, I know. But as far as I know, most weddings in european history involved the woman wearing her best dress, whatever that was. At some point (Queen Victoria, perhaps?), brides began wearing white as a show of wealth and luxury. It's the most impractical color imaginable for a dress to be, and is only worn once. This is not unlike women trying to stay pale to show they didn't work in the fields, or perhaps tanning all the time now to suggest they don't slave in an office all day.

    For what it's worth, if I ever get married, I plan to make a fancy purple gown for myself with a separate top and skirt, so I can wear the pieces again separately.