Sunday, March 15, 2009

The F list

Look, its Sunday night, and if you can believe it I worked all day (yes in my pajamas, yes lying in bed, yes with the t.v. on mute intermittently, but it was work dammit!) so maybe now is not the time to be posting at all, but I have been thinking all day (between work and Law & Order reruns) about the many issues I want to discuss here, and rather than just pick one at a time, I decided I need to have a list going forward of the main things I want to address so I don't forget. So here are some of the things I am either sure about/struggling with/clueless about with regards to my wedding. Meanings behind things, whether I can reassign them meanings, or whether that is total bullshit anyway. OK, the list, then bed, brain cells preserved for more writing tomorrow.

1) Engagement rings (blech) - I hate even thinking about what a hypocrite I am (might be)
2) White wedding dress (laugh, then sigh. I totally want to wear one.)
3) Being walked down the aisle
4) writing our own vows
5) wedding cake? and then cutting the wedding cake?
6) invitations addressed from parents (no, on so many levels, but still want to talk about it)
7) Engagement parties
8) Flowers? In our global warming, diminishing resources world?
9) Religious elements in the service...yikes. I'm a Jew. He's a Mennonite. That's going to be a long post. Or several long posts.
10) Band or DJ (OK that is less of a feminist question, but seriously band or DJ?)

I can't think of any more tonight. These should be enough to get us started. Open to your suggestions to peeps.


  1. In my experience, a band gives a more personal touch. Especially if you have friends of the family who are musically inclined.

    I never saw the point to an engagement party. At least not with all the trappings. Aren't the huge wedding and afterparty enough? But that's just my musing.

    One more opinion? Personally...I love cake. Yes yes and yes!

  2. You can still be a feminist and like a pretty ring! If it is bothering you, then buy him one to make it more egalitarian.

    In terms of the dress, it is fun to get dressed up in a dress you would have never worn before and will never wear again, but yes totally useless.

    Don't think of it as your parents giving you away to your beloved...but rather think of it as you bringing your family history into the union with him as you go from your family of origin to the family you are creating with him.

    I do understand the thought about the flowers, but they are so pretty. What about potted plants that guests can take home and plant in their gardens??

    And just like at Birthday Ball, what party isn't complete without cake!

  3. Wow, you have helpful readers! Looks like you have your work cut out for you. Please do it all well, so I can copy you when it comes around to my time.

    Maybe make him wear a white suit...? :)