Thursday, March 19, 2009

Officially officiating

We have picked a date and place for our wedding. Exciting!

We knew we wanted to have the ceremony and party in the same place, and we wanted a "Jewish-style" wedding where the dancing and dinner happen simultaneously (I have been to a few where you eat, have speeches etc. and then dance afterwards, and its not for me) so we chose the Winnipeg Art Gallery. (Oh, yeah, and we are getting married in Winnipeg, which is limiting in itself.) So big thanks in advance to my dear family and friends who are schlepping their generous asses from NY to the 'Peg just to watch me marry a guy I've been living with for five years.

So, we have our non-religious location and date chosen (its more than a year away, so there will be lots of posting between now and then, I am sure.)

So, the next step was to figure out who is actually going to marry us. We are both non- religious people (and very consciously non-religious, not just lazy) so we knew we weren't going to have any clergy. We also knew we wanted a friend to perform the wedding, someone who knew us as people and as a couple. But choosing a friend is not easy, it has to be someone who speaks well, writes well, knows us well...

Actually for us it was easy. The right person came to mind immediately. Not only was he a great friend and a great mind, he has done it before, and he knows what it means to make this kind of commitment. He is married to one of the smartest, loveliest, people I know. They themselves have a wonderful relationship and great senses of humor and...wait a sec...

I have never been to a wedding where a couple performs the ceremony, and my partner loved the idea when I suggested it. Technically only one person can sign the papers, and we haven't discussed which one of them will actually be the legal officiator, but we don't care. Who ever does not can serve as a witness. As far as we are concerned we are being married by a couple, a man and a woman, which in our case, reflects our commitment to an equal partnership, friendship and love.

Feminist wedding victory #1!


  1. aw, we'd be honored to do it! :)

  2. Shane and I had the privelige of performing our friends' wedding in Minneapolis. There was an "official" heading up the ceremony, so she signed the papers, but it was a really special time for us as we went through the service. Very meaningful.

    And, both my dad and a good family friend shared the duties at Shane's and my own wedding. The friend again did the paperwork but it truly didn't matter. The people did. Sounds like you've found the right people. Vive la victory #1!